Miss Priss in Middle Earth
by Liza Jane
Summary: There are a ton of stories about girls who want to go to Middle Earth somehow getting there...But what if a girl who didn't want to go to ME got transported there? What would happen?
1. How did I get here?

Hey. There are a lot of stories about girls falling into Middle Earth who want to be there. What about a prissy little girl, who hates the outdoors and thinks that the movies and books are retarded. What would happen to her in Middle Earth?   
  
Of course, I love the movies, but the books are much better. I just thought it was a nice twist on the girl falls into Middle Earth thing. Actually the idea came this past week when my little prissy friend was talking about how she hated the LOTR movies and such. So me and my other two friends made fun of her for it and came up with the prissy girl in Middle Earth thing.  
  
So here you go. First chapter. Hope you like it. I'll post the second chapter whenever I get it finished. Probably tomorrow. Read and review.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Lord of the Rings. Or anything else other than the characters I make up.   
  
Enjoy. Review and tell me what you think.  
  
~Liza Jane  
  
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"That movie was even worse than the first one!" Christina Mallory said as she, her brother, Brent, and boyfriend Travis walked out of the movie theater. The boys had tricked her into going to see the 'Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers' that night and she was hating them for it.   
  
"But you must say, it was a good plan." Brent said. They had tricked her by asking to borrow money to take her to see 'Two Weeks Notice' and she gave them the money, but instead they bought tickets for the Lord of the Rings and told her the wrong time to be at the movie theater. And since she hated wasting money, she sat through the three hour movie.   
  
"No, I say that you better sleep with one eye open for taking my money." Christina said.   
  
Travis put his arm around her. "Aw, come on baby doll. You know it was a great movie. Wouldn't it be awesome to go to such a place to live."  
  
"Um, no...I would hate to live in such a place, where they have no idea what bathing is, and live in fear of having ugly things come and burn my home." Christina said in a snobby tone. "I have no idea how you can like a movie." She then walked ahead to the car.   
  
Brent laughed at his 17 year old sister. She was such a girly-girl. She always wore stylish clothes and always dressed up like she had someone to impress. Given the fact that she was very pretty, with light brown, blonde streaked hair and grey eyes. She hated anything to do with the outdoors, bugs, or animals. She was the type of girl who would get B's or sometime C's in gym class because she would never do anything in the class, and would worry constantly about breaking a nail...And the boys loved to torture her for the way she was.  
  
"I would pay big money to see her in Middle Earth." Travis said with a laugh. "'Little Prissy Girl Gets a Rude Awakening' is what they would call it."  
  
Brent chuckled at the thought. "I love to see something like that."  
  
"Too bad it can't happen." Travis said. "You know she's my girlfriend and I love her and all. But she needs to lighten up about certain things."  
  
"Hey, its freezing out! Hurry up and let me in the car!" Christina yelled.   
  
Travis pulled his keys out of his pockets. "Such as standing out in the cold for more than one minute." He said.   
  
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Christina jumped up and down in the January cold. She and her cheerleader friends were standing outside the gym getting ready to go preform at the basketball half time show.   
  
"Yeah, and so then Phil suddenly decides that we should go see that Lord of the Rings movie." Her friend, Samantha was saying. "I hated every minute of it."  
  
Christina had to get in on that conversation. "I know. Travis and my dumb ass brother tricked me into seeing it." She said.   
  
"Whoever came up with that is messed up." Samantha said.   
  
Christina nodded."It is such a weird story." Christina tightened her ponytail and retied the baby blue ribbon in her hair. She was in her cheerleader uniform, which was the school colors, for the home games at least, baby blue sheevless tops, and short skirts, with navy lining and letters saying "Blue Jays" on it outlined in white and silver. Christina was an accomplished gymnast and dancer. She knew hip-hop, ballet/pointe, tap, and her favorite jazz. And she had the type of attitude to go along with it, like you only saw in TV shows and movies about dancers/cheerleaders.   
  
"Tell me about it." Jenny, another cheerleader said. "And to think, there are all these weird-os out there about wanting to go to Middle Earth. Whats wrong with them?"  
  
"I know. I would hate every minute of it if I some how got dropping in there." Christina said.   
  
Their coach, Miss Reilly came out and told the girls it was time to get into their lines to enter the gym. All fourteen of the girls on the squad picked up their baby blue and navy pom-poms and formed into the two lines of seven. Then about a minute later, walked into the gym and began their routine.   
  
"Five, six, seven, eight!" Donna, the captain of the cheerleading squad called out as their music, which was a Britney Spears medley of "Opps...I did it Again"/"Crazy"/"I'm a Slave for You". All the girls began the routine, which was choreographed to show off the gymnastic skills of the team, some more than others.   
  
Christina went out in front of everyone, along with Jenny, and the did flip-flop passing over each other. Then they turned to go get back in their line formation, and do more dance moves with their pom-poms and dance spins. Then when it went to the first lift, which went fine. But then after more gymnast solos and more dancing, came the final pose. In which Christina was at the top. She had her usual smile on, and looked at the back wall. But the stupid mascot grabbed her attention and she looked down at the ground and froze.  
  
The music ended and the crowd erupted with cheers. The other girls all got out of their poses and got the crowd pumped up for the second half of the game.   
  
"Christina!" One of her friends yelled. "You ready to drop or what?"  
  
Christina took a deep breath. "Yeah. I'm ready." She said. She was then dropped down into the arms of her fellow cheerleaders. Somehow, they dropped her shortly after catching her and she hit her head hard on the ground. It was all black for her from there.  
  
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"Hey Pippin! Come here!" Christina heard someone call.   
  
Christina's head throbbed with pain. The last thing she remebered was looking at the stupid blue jay mascot in the gym. She was probably in the clinic or something...she must have fainted or something.   
  
"Its moving!" She heard.   
  
"Excuse me! No one calls me 'it'." Christina thought. She opened her eyes and rolled onto her back. "Ouch!" She had a rock jammed into her back. Wait? A rock in the school's clinic?   
  
She sat up and looked around. Wait, she was in the woods. What was she doing there? Where was she?  
"I'm going to go get Gandalf." She heard.   
  
Christina thought a minute. "Gandalf...Thats the old guy in those stupid movies." She thought. She then realized she was sitting on the dirt and stood up, causing a pain spell in her head again. She began dusting off her uniform and noticed a short little kid with curly hair standing there.  
  
"Hello...Who are you?" She asked.   
  
He looked at her. "I should be asking the same question." he said. "Who are you, and what city are you from where you are allowed to wear that?"  
  
Christina looked at her outfit. "Well I'm sorry if you are omish and don't like girls in short skirts." She said.   
  
"Omish?" He asked confused.   
  
Another short kid, a tall guy with grey hair, and another guy with rather long brown hair. They all looked at Christina in shock.   
  
"Gandalf...What is omish?" The little one asked.   
  
The old guy looked at the short one. "I do not know Meridoc. Where did you find her?"  
  
"Just right there. She was sleeping."  
  
Christina put her hands on her hips. "I have a name you know."  
  
"Forgive me, fair maiden." The old man said. "May I ask what is your name?"  
  
"Christina Mallory." She said.   
  
He nodded, then whispered to the other man. "Must not be from around here." He said, then turned back to Christina. "Where are you from?"  
  
"Albany..." She said, getting confused looks. "In New York." Still confused looks. "NEW YORK! You know...The state with New York City in it!"  
  
The little one gave her a look. "The only thing I understood in all that was city."  
  
"Wait...You don't know where New York is?" She asked. "Where are you from?"  
  
"Gondor." The one brown hair guy answered.   
  
"The Shire." The other little one said.   
  
"Huh? And you thought I was crazy." Christina said. "Wait...Where am I?"  
  
"Middle Earth of course."   
  
Christina wanted to scream. Middle Earth! Guys with hair way to long and in despite need of a shower, bugs, dirt, and those ugly things...Orcs or whatever. No, she was dreaming. She pinched her arm.   
  
"What are you doing?"   
  
"This a dream...I have wake up." Christina said, almost in a panic.   
  
The little one who she had confused with the word 'omish' came forward. "I'll help you there." He then kicked her knee.   
  
Christina rubbed her knee, he may be small, but he had metal fee. She then looked at him. "You know...My arm is stronger than your whole body." She said, getting a 'and your point is' look from him. "So don't mess with me."  
  
"Now now..." The old man said. "No need to make threats. Christina, you may come with our company. Prehaps we can help you find your way back to New York as you said."  
  
Christina scoffed. "Fine." She had no choice but to go with these people who probably bathed once a year. Gross! She thought.  
  
"I say we let the orcs find her."   
  
"Oh no that would not be right." he said. "Come along Christina."  
  
Christina looked down and noticed that her prefectly white skechers were covered in dirt, and not far from it was her gym bag. She ran over to it. Everything was in there...Her jeans, shirt and sweatshirt. Her walkman and CDs. Hairbrush. Toothbrush. Make-up. And her dance shoes. "Good, if I have to be in this place at least I have my make-up." She then picked it up and followed the four back to a bunch of rocks where there were more Middle Earth, Lord of the Rings people.  
  
"Boromir, Legolas, Gimli..." The old guy called to them. "Samwise, Frodo. We have a new companion. Christina...of Albany. We must help her find her way back to New York."  
  
"What sort of name is Christina?" The elf said, Legolas. She had seen his picture enough in posters.   
  
"My name..." Christina said. "Thereofore it is a good one."  
  
Legolas stared at her. Then turned and walked away.   
  
"Now Legolas, Christina is lost, we must be gentlemen and help her find her way." The old man, Gandalf, if Christina was remember correctly.  
  
"Um...You all know my names what are yours?" She asked.   
  
"I am Gandalf, the Grey." He answered.   
  
"Good, I was right." Christina thought.  
  
"The one whom you were speaking with was Legolas, of Mirkwood." He continued. "I shall let everyone else introduce themselves."  
Christina looked over at the short one with blue eyes. He walked over to her. "Hello...Christy-na." He said. "I'm Frodo Baggins, and this is my friend, Samwise Gamgee."  
  
Christina hated how he pronounced her name. But she nodded. "Nice to meet you both."  
  
"I am Boromir." The tall guy with redish hair told her.   
  
"Gosh they have weird names." Christina said, remembering how she and her friends made fun of all of them the year before after the Fellowship of the Ring came out.  
  
"And I am Aragorn." The one with dark brown hair said.   
  
"I thought your name was Strider." Christina blurt out. Opps...  
  
Aragorn looked at her. "How did you know that?"  
  
Christina stuttered a moment. "Um, well it is just that...I name is so you. How could your name not be Strider. If you know what I mean." She said, trying to make it look like she just guessed it.   
  
Legolas ran back over. "It is a sort of witchcraft! She knows our names."   
  
Christina gave him a nasty look. He just stared at her. "You know, everyone else may think you are really hot...But you really could use a haircut."  
  
"Everyone thinks I'm hot?" Legolas asked, letting his guard down. Then getting fierce again. "That is not my point."  
  
Christina laughed. "Yeah whatever." She then turned and saw the dwarf...What was his name again? "Hello...Who are you?"  
  
"I am Gimli, son of Gloin." He answered. "It is a pleasure to meet you."  
  
Christina smiled sweetly. "And it is nice to meet you too." She said in her completely fake preppy voice.   
  
"Now, you would probably like to rest. We have quite a ways to go." Gandalf said.   
  
Christina put her bag down. "Okay."  
  
"What is omish?" She heard. It was that little dork who she had first seen when she was dropped into Middle earth.   
  
"I ask again." He said to Christina. "What is omish."  
  
"Old fashioned people." Christina replied.   
  
"Well I do not think it is omish to wonder where you are from to dress in such a way." He said.   
  
Christina smirked. "Oh look. There is something on the ground that I need to pick up." She said.   
  
"No there isn't. " He said, rolling his eyes.  
  
Christina thought to herself. "Bend...and...snap." As she bent down and picked up a small rock then snapped up.   
  
He looked at her as though she was crazy. "Um...You confuse me..."  
  
"What is your name?"  
  
"Merry..." He replied. "And this is my friend, Pippin." The hobbit next to him waved.   
  
"Okay...Its nice to meet you Pippin and Mary." She said. Who names a guy Mary? Thats a girls name. She thought.   
  
"Mary?" He asked.   
  
"Yeah, you said that was your name."  
  
"Its M-E-R-R-Y!" He yelled. "MER-RY!"  
  
Christina, and his little Pippin friend laughed. "Okay, no need to be a spaz."  
  
He stopped huffing. "Spaz?"  
  
Oh boy. I guess I should have payed more attention in English class. She thought. She then tried to explain to him slang...But she only confused her more. Within a half hour he found out what, omish, spaz, dork, shit, damn, and pizza meant. But he was convinced she was crazy and making it all up.   
  
"How do you get your hair to be so many colors?" Pippin asked.   
  
"Hair dye." She anwsered.   
  
"You kill your hair?" Merry asked. He then stood up and picked something off the ground. Then came back.  
  
"No...Its this special stuff I use to change my hair color." Christina said.   
  
"I want to see it closer." Merry said as he went behind Christina and made her sit down. He began to play with her ponytail. He then pulled the back of her top and shoved something down it.  
  
Christina shoot up. "What did you put down my back?" She asked.   
  
Merry snickered. "A spider." He said.   
  
Christina screamed and jumped up and down like a freak. She hated spiders. That was so mean.  
  
"Whats wrong?" Aragorn asked as he ran over, and saw both the hobbits howling with laughter.   
  
"I put a spider down her back." Merry answered through laughing.   
  
Aragorn too began to laugh. "How can you be after of a spider?" He asked.   
  
Christina finally saw the spider drop to the ground and crawl away. She then looked at Merry. "I'm going to hit you..." She said making a fist and watching towards him.   
  
"Only if you can catch me." Merry said. he then kicked her again and ran off.   
  
"I hate you!" Christina yelled at him.   
  
"Same to you! You...Damn shit dork!" He yelled back.   
  
"That doesn't even make sense!" She said as she limped after him.   
  
Gandalf stood up. "Stop it!" They ignored him and Merry continued to run around the camp mocking Christina. "I said stop it!" Merry and Christina then ran past him and he nearly fell.   
  
Christina then grabbed the back of his cape. She then pinned him to the ground.   
  
Merry continued to laugh at her. "Now I know you hate spiders and probably all other bugs. I think I am going to enjoy you being here."  
  
Christina pulled his hair, but then jumped up and looked for something to wipe her hand on. "Who it kill you to wash you hair?"  
  
"Yes it would...." he then turned to Pippin who appeared at Merry's side suddenly. "How do you wash your hair?"  
  
"I don't know." Pippin answered.   
  
Christina then limped off and sat on a rock pouting. I want to go home. She thought. My head hurts and these guys suck! She then sat there until the company began to move again.   
  
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Haha. Like it?   
  
Oh yeah, I don't have anything against cheerleaders. One of my best friends actually is a cheerleader. I just thought that Christina would fit the description of one of those cheerleaders from the movies.   
  
I'll post the second chapter sometime tomorrow. 


	2. The First Day

Well, I know I said in last chapter that I was going to post this chapter tomorrow...Well...yes I know that it is not tomorrow. But here you go, I finally got it done as well as chapter three which I am also trying to upload as we speak. And I have a bunch of ideas for the rest of the story and I will try to update soon. So enjoy.  
  
Disclaimer: The idea and Christina belong to me. But I own nothing from the Lord of the Rings, or anything else like songs or pop artists I may refer to in the story.  
  
~Liza Jane  
  
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Christina sat on the rock re-doing her make-up while everyone was doing something. Legolas walked around the camp aimlessly, Gimli and Gandalf talked about thier travel plans, Sam and Frodo made and ate something, and then Boromir tried to teach Merry and Pippin how to properly use a sword while Aragorn watched.   
  
Christina noticed the two hobbits attacking Boromir as she was putting lip gloss on. She rolled her eyes as she looked over her face again. Prefect. She thought to herself.   
  
Legolas was happened to be walking around near her, looked at her. He stopped for a moment. "What sort of witchcraft do you use to make your lips shiney and eyelashes longer?" He asked.   
  
Christina looked at him with a 'you're such an idiot' look. "Its not witch craft you moron. Its make-up." She then showed him her make-up but pointing to them, one by one. "This is mascara, this is eye shadow, this is eye liner, this is..."  
  
She noticed he was looking at something behind her. She looked and saw nothing but clouds. "Okay...Well if you aren't going to listen to me..."  
  
Legolas looked at her, rolled his eyes and then ran onto a rock, trying to get a better look.   
  
After a bunch of talk about something Christina could have cared less about. The other nine were running around trying to hide everything. Christina took the hint and hide in the bushes nearby after she stuffed everything in her bag.   
  
A bunch of birds flew overhead and everyone watched intensly. "I really hope they aren't going to unload right now." Christina thought. That would be gross."  
  
The birds passed and everyone came out of thier hiding places. Christina began dusting herself off as Gandalf said they were going through another pass, which Christina couldn't pronounce. She just tightened her ponytail and waited for everyone to pack everything up.   
  
She heard someone sneer behind her. She turned to see Merry standing there. "What are you laughing at?"  
  
Merry tried to hold back laughter. "Nothing."  
  
Christina rolled her eyes. "You are such a dork." She said. Merry continued to laugh under his breath. She ignored him, but he almost turned blue trying not to laugh. She turned around to him then and put her hands on her hips. "What?"  
  
Merry burst out laughing and feel over onto the ground laughing. Frodo came over to see what was going on. He too began to laugh.   
  
"Can someone please tell me what is so funny?" Christina demanded.   
  
"Its...Its your skirt..." Frodo said laughing and pointing to her skirt.   
  
Christina looked down and looked at her skirt. Nothing was wrong with it, then she looked behind her and noticed that the bottom half of her skirt somehow got tucked into her bloomers.   
  
She turned red and quickly fixed it. "You know...Its not that funny..." Christina said, trying to act cool about it.   
  
"Then why are you blushing?" Merry asked. "Oh yeah, and you have a dead spider in your hair."  
  
Christina screamed and began hitting at her ponytail. Boromir came over and asked what was going on. Between Christina screaming, and the hobbits laughing, he was completely clueless.   
  
Frodo stopped laughing for a minute. "Merry told her she had a dead spider in her hair." He said calming down. "So she started screaming."   
  
Boromir looked at Christina was still hitting at her hair. "Christina...Christina...You don't have a spider in your hair." He told her.   
  
Christina stopped hitting her hair for a minute and caught her breath. She then looked over at Merry who was still laughing, but knew that she found out it was a joke and her look told her she was ready to kill him.   
  
"Uh oh..." He said looking at Christina, then getting up and running away.   
  
Christina ran after him. "Come back here you little verman!" She yelled running after him.   
  
"You can't catch me." Merry mocked as he began running in circle, and bating which way he was going so she couldn't get him.   
  
Christina then jumped over the rock and grabbed the back of his cape. But she was then restrained by Boromir; and Merry ran away.   
  
"That isn't very lady-like." He said.   
  
Christina glared at him. "And your point is?"  
  
"You shouldn't chase the hobbit like that." Boromir said.   
  
Merry came back over. "Yeah...you shouldn't chase me like that." He then kicked her shin and ran away.   
  
Christina lounged forward but Boromir stopped her again. "Don't hold me back!" She yelled.   
  
"If I let you go, will you stop fighting with Merry?"  
  
Christina put on her fake good girl smile. "Of course I won't."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"Scouts honor." She said with her bubblegum tone.   
  
He looked confused for a moment. "I believe that means yes...So I will let you go." He said, and then turned to walk away.   
  
Christina made sure he was at least ten yards away before she ran back after Merry.   
  
Merry ran around the camp and Christina followed. He mocked her as he then began to run around the rock again.   
  
"You spaz shit!" He said, trying to use the words that Christina had taught him earlier.   
  
Christina continued to chase him in circles. "That doesn't even make sense!" She exclaimed. Then grabbed his arm and tackled him face first into the ground.   
  
Boromir and Aragorn where watching this and went over to them as Christina tackled Merry. Aragorn rolled his eyes as he picked Christina up and then threw her over his shoulder to carry her.   
  
Christina began kicking and hitting him. "Put me down!" She yelled, noticing that Boromir was carrying Merry over his shoulder.   
  
"You cannot go on hunting the hobbit." Aragorn told her, continously getting kicked in the stomach and once in the head.   
  
"Says who?" Christina asked.   
  
Aragorn thought a moment, not knowing how to answer the question. "Your just not supposed to. It isn't ladylike."  
  
Christina stopped kicking for a moment, and Aragorn was very grantful. "Fine, but you better watch you hands." She then noticed that Sam had put her gym bag on the pony's back. "You better not ruin anything in there!" She yelled at him.   
  
Sam nodded. Christina couldn't help but notice that he looked a little nervous after she said that.   
  
Christina looked down at the ground moving below her. Aragorn and Boromir where the last in the line of the company, so she looked at all the ground, and arrangement of footprints to pass time. She would also reach over and hit Merry's head when she could reach him.  
  
"Anyway...So Aragorn, whats your deal?" She asked as she was getting bored.   
  
"My deal?" He asked.   
  
"Yeah, like what do you do for a living? Are you married?" She asked.   
  
"I roam out in the woods for a 'living'. And no I am not married, yet." He said.   
  
"Oh you've got a girl?" Christina asked.   
  
"I suppose you could put it that way." Aragorn said.   
  
Christina thought a moment. "You know, when I get married...I want it to be a big wedding. I want all my friends there, and then my dress is going to be like the prettiest dress that anyone has ever since. I mean, its like, my wedding so I can spend like as much money and I want. I mean it is like the day that I will remember all my life, right?" She said.   
  
"Right...Is there anything else you could possibly talk about?" Aragorn asked in an annoyed tone.  
  
"Um, okay." Christina said. "You know, if I get back to New York in time for the winter dance, I'm going to have like major shopping to do. You know? Its like, I can't go there in the same dress as someone. But then like, maybe I could ger someone to make my dress. Then no one will have a dress like mine. Like last year, oh my gosh, I went to the dance, I thought that I had the best dress ever, just to see that Jesse Summers had the same dress. I was like, 'Excuse me, thats not right'."  
  
"Is there anything you can talk about other than dresses?" He asked.   
  
Christina was quiet for a minute. "Um, no." She said. Aragorn rolled his eyes. "So then, when I saw she was wearing like the same dress as me..."  
  
"Gandalf!" Aragorn yelled.   
  
Christina heard them talking to each other in some weird lanague. Then suddenly Christina was dropped to the ground. "What was that for?" She asked as she stood up.  
  
"Your walking now." Aragorn told her. "And talking to Gandalf about your dresses."  
  
Christina shrugged. "Um, okay."   
  
Gandalf motioned for him to follow her. She did and began talking his ear off about her winter dance dress, her boyfriend, her family, friends and dancing. He seemed to be ignoring her, but she had to talk to someone if she was being forced to walk for so long.  
  
When they stopped, it was nightfall. Christina wasn't exactly happy about having to sleep with nine guys around. But where else could she go? If she wandered off she would run into one of those...things in the movies. And that would be worse than traveling with them.  
  
Sam approched Christina hauling her bag. "Here is your bag." He said.   
  
Christina took it and then looked through it to make sure everything was there. "Thank you." She said as she pulled her headphones out of her bag.   
  
Sam stared at her a moment as she wrapped the headphones around her head.   
  
Christina looked over at him. "What?"  
  
"What is that?" He asked.   
  
"Oh this? Its a CD player. You can listen to music on it" Christina said. She just handed it to him. "Here listen."  
  
Sam took it and put the headphone on, Christina then pressed the play button. Sam jumped when he heard it and then took her headphones off. "It is much to loud!"  
  
Christina laughed. She had forgotten that the volume was on level 10, which meant it was pretty darn loud. "Sorry." She then turned it down and changed the song to "Somewhere Out There" by Our Lady Peace. Christina knew that he had suddenly heard the extremely loud verison of "Like I Love You" by Justin Timberlake on the mixed CD.   
  
Sam put the headphones back on and listened to the song. He then looked at Christina and smiled. "I like this one." He said.   
  
Christina handed him the CD player. "Here, you can listen to all you want...This is song skip and song replay." She pointed out to him. "And don't drop it."  
  
Sam nodded. "Thank you." He then waddled back over to where his hobbit friends were.  
  
Christina went back to looking through her bag. She pulled black zip-up sweat shirt and put it on. She then sat there while Boromir made a fire and everyone set up little beds on the ground.   
  
"You see on the ground?" Christina exclaimed.   
  
"Isn't that the way you sleep in your New York home?" Gandalf asked.   
  
"No..." Christina said in a whiney tone.   
  
"First time for everything." Aragorn said. He then walked over and put two blankets in her arms. "Here. You can make your bed."  
  
Christina gave him a 'you must be kidding' look. But he just turned and walked away. She then went to a spot away from all of them, but close to the fire and set up a little bed for herself. "This is worse than Girl Scout camp." She thought.   
  
Sam came over to her, she was sitting on the blanket with her legs propped up. For once she was looking at him eye level. "Yes?" She asked.   
  
"I don't understand your music." He said. "It sounds like a dying cat."   
  
Christina looked confused. "What are you listening to?" She asked. Sam handed her the CD player and headphones. Surely enough, it was Avril Lagvine's song "I'm With You". Christina laughed. A dying cat...She never thought of it that way. "You're right Sam. I guess the music from my world is different from the music here." She then took off the headphones.   
  
"I liked that one song though." He said.   
  
Legolas was walking by. "What song?" He asked.   
  
"A wonderful song Legolas...She has it on a round spinning thing." Sam said.   
  
Legolas stared down at Christina and the CD player. "Are you bewitching the hobbits with music now?" He asked.   
  
Christina stood up and got in his face. "Listen buddy, you've been a complete jerk to me since I got here...and..."   
  
"What is going on over here?" Gandalf asked walking towards them.  
  
"Gandalf, Legolas is being mean to me!" Christina said as though she was a first grader being a tattle tale.   
  
"I am not!" Legolas protested.   
  
Gandalf shook his head. "What happened...Samwise." He said.   
  
Sam stood up. "Well, Christina has this thing that plays music. And I like it, or some of it. And Legolas is thinking that it is witchcraft. But it isn't." He said.   
  
"Let me listen." Gandalf said, Christina handed him the headphones. He looked at them for a moment. "You put them on your ears...Like this..." She put the headphones on the way they should have gone. "There..." She said. Then pressed the play button so that "Sadness" by Engima came on.   
  
Gandalf seemed to enjoy the song. He then took the headphones off. "Legolas, I find nothing bewitching about her music." He said.   
  
Christina smirked at Legolas. "See, I'm not a witch. Gandalf says so." She said.   
  
"But Gandalf..." Legolas began.   
  
"I don't want to hear it Legolas..." He then turned to walk away.   
  
Legolas ran to catch up with Gandalf. "But Gandalf...She is..." He began saying.   
  
Christina laughed. She then noticed that Sam was still standing there. "Oh sorry. You still want to listen to this?" She asked.   
  
Sam nodded. "Yes please." He said.   
  
"Okay, I'll put a different CD in that doesn't have dying cats singing." Christina said. She then reached into her bag and pulled out her Enya CD and exchanged it in the CD player. "Here you go."   
  
Sam took it and put the headphones back on. "Thank you." He then walked off and Christina decided to go to bed. There was really nothing to do.  
  
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Like it? Hate it? Or just want to say hi? Review. :) Have a nice day. Chapter three coming soon. 


	3. Sharing Breakfast

Okay, here is the third chapter. I sure had a lot of fun writing it. So I hope that you like it. I wanted to upload it Friday night, but forgot about the downtime. Oh well...I got it done. Enjoy! And if you want to...Review.  
  
Remember I own nothing from the Lord of the Rings books! Except for the idea of a prissy cheerleader in Middle Earth. So don't take it! And the character Christina belongs to me too.  
  
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The next morning, Christina woke up last. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, the sun was coming up.  
  
"Good morning." Sam greeted her.   
  
Christina looked at him. He still had her headphones on his head. "Morning." She said. She then noticed that Frodo was cooking something, while everyone else was packing up the camp. Merry and Pippin were nowhere to be found, which scared her.   
  
She stood up and reached into her bag for her hair brush and make-up bag. "This sucks. I'm tired, I look like crap...and now I have to walk again." She thought as she began to brush her hair.  
  
"Would you like something to eat?" Frodo asked her as he sat down on the ground next to her.   
  
"No thanks." She said. "I usually don't eat breakfast." She said.   
  
"You don't?" Frodo asked. "My, you are nothing like Pippin."  
  
"I wouldn't want to be like Pippin." Christina thought as she began to braid her hair.   
  
Aragorn came over. "I would suggest you bundling up. We are going through a mountain pass, it may get cold for you with bare legs." He told her.   
  
"Yeah, yeah..." Christina said. She then tyed a rubber band around the bottom of her braid and then went to look for her pants. "YES!" She screamed as she was digging in her bag.   
  
"What is it?" Frodo asked. Everyone was looking at her as though she was crazy.   
  
Christina looked at Frodo. "Could you possibly boil some water for me?" She asked.   
  
Frodo nodded, and looking confused. But he got up and went over to the fire.   
  
Christina went and changed into her jeans and baby tee which said, "Brat" on it behind some trees. Her uniform was so dirty, now she would have to have it dry-cleaned. Great, she hated spending money on that. But oh well. She pulled her Doc Martin boots out of her bag and laced them up before going back to the camp.   
  
Frodo was at the fire with a pot of boiling water. Christina pulled out an instant coffee pack from her bag (a/n: kind of like a tea bag, but with coffee, cream, and sugar in it *I don't know if there is such a thing, but according to me, there is, and if not...the idea is MINE*).   
  
Frodo put the boiling water in a cup and handed it to Christina. "Here you go. Is that enough water for you?"  
  
Christina nodded. "Yes it is." She said. "Thank you so much." She then dropped her coffee pack into it and swirled it around.   
  
Frodo watched her, curious as to watch she had put in the water. Merry and Pippin walked up by his side.   
  
"What is she doing?" Pippin asked Frodo.   
  
"I don't know..." Frodo answered. They continued to watch her, a little confused.   
  
Christina took a sip of her coffee. Nice, hot Starbucks coffee in the morning was always a wonderful thing to have. She loved the smell, and inhaled it as she held the cup in her hand. She then noticed that Frodo and Pippin where staring at her.   
  
"Yes?" She asked.   
  
"What do you have in that cup that makes you so happy?" Pippin asked.   
  
"My breakfast." Christina told him.   
  
"Oh no...You said the word..." Frodo said.   
  
Pippin's eyes grew big. "Breakfast?" He asked, then ran over to Christina and began pulling at her arm. "Would you be willing to share?"  
  
Christina raised the cup above her head. "No I wouldn't." She said. "Stop jumping on me!"  
  
Pippin stopped a minute. But then continued to pull at her arms. "Please. Just a little bit."  
  
"Is there a problem here?" Gandalf asked.   
  
Pippin stopped jumping. "She will not share her breakfast with me." He said.   
  
Gandalf shook his head. "Christina...Pippin loves his breakfast. And lately, hasn't been getting his fill lately. It would mean a great deal to him if you share your own breakfast with him."   
  
Christina rolled her eyes. "Alright..."   
  
"Thank you. We shall be on the moving soon." He said. He then turned and walked away.   
  
Pippin gave Christina a look that said, "You heard him". Christina then lowered her arms. She took the little tea/coffee pack out of her cup and handed it to him. "Here, suck on this..." She said. "That should teach him to want *my* breakfast." She thought.  
  
Pippin looked at it, but then put it in his mouth. He began to suck on it, then shook his head. "This tastes funny." He said.   
  
Christina just shrugged and walked away. She rolled up the blankets and put everything back in her bag.   
  
Sam was helping her make room in her bag for everything when Merry and Aragorn came over to them.   
  
"What have you done to Pippin?" Merry yelled.   
  
Christina gave them a confused look as she zipped up her bag. "Excuse me? What did I do to Pippin...Your the one who disappeared with him for who knows how long...I'm a little lost."  
  
"He is running around like mad. Gandalf said you shared your breakfast with him." Aragorn told her.   
  
Christina shook her head. "What?" She asked. "Show me."   
  
Aragorn and Merry led her over to where the rest of the companions where. And she did infact see Pippin running around and jumping up and down. Almost like someone pressed the fast forward button.   
  
"Care to explain this?" Aragorn asked her.   
  
Christina scoffed and kicked dirt at him. She then went over to Pippin and stopped him. "Pippin...Pippin! No...Stop jumping..." She said trying to get him to calm down. He finally did for a moment. "Pippin...That little packet I gave you...What did you do with it?"  
  
"I ate it." He said.   
  
"What?" She asked weakly hoping he didn't eat the coffee beans really.  
  
"Yes, I torn it open and ate those little black things inside of the paper." He said. "I must say, it tastes quite bitter at first, but it is actually the best thing I have ever eaten. You must share your breakfast with me tomorrow." He said and then ran off, eventually tripping over something and falling on his face about five yards ahead. "I'm okay!" He then got up and continued to run around.   
  
"Christina...What did he eat?" Gandalf asked her as she sat there in dismay.  
  
"He ate coffee beans..." She said in dismay.  
  
"Co-Fee beans?" Gandalf asked. "What are those?"  
  
Christina sighed. "Well...they have a lot of caffine in them, and caffine gives you a lot of energy." She said. "Sort of."  
  
"But you drank it...Why aren't you running a muck like he is?" Gandalf asked.   
  
"Because, I drank it...He ate them..." Christina told him. "And I am used to having it."  
  
"Well, I suppose we will not have to carry him today on our journey." Gandalf sighed. "But it will wear off, right. Oh please say yes."   
  
"Yes...In a couple of hours." Christina said.   
  
"Well, then let us be on our way." Gandalf said. "Pippin! Stop harrassing that bird!"   
  
The nine companions, and Christina walked on the rest of the day. Soon, they were walking uphill in the snow. Christina was cold, but she kept walking. Pippin was having no problem plowing through the snow which came up to his knees.   
  
"I can't believe this? Why didn't you bring horses? That would have made it much easier to get through this snow." Christina complained. She had fallen behind everyone, and was getting the feeling they wanted to leave her behind.   
  
Christina noticed that Frodo tripped and Aragorn caught him. But Boromir picked something and was staring at it for quite some time, and then Aragorn demanded he give it back to Frodo.   
  
Christina walked by them and noticed that Aragorn was eyeing Boromir and holding onto his sword as though he was about to fight Boromir. She rolled her eyes as she walked by. "Yeah thats nice. Defend the halfing and leave me at the bottom of the mountain for dead!" She yelled at him as she walked by. "You know, you must think that you all are soooo much better than women. And since I can't fend for myself, you think that I will be left all alone and somehow go back to New York. Well guess what. If I die, I will make sure I come back as a ghost to bring slow, painful deaths to all of you." She declared to all of them.   
  
Christina walked ahead and ended up walking next to Gandalf. "I'm tired. When are we going to stop?" She whined.   
  
"Not for quite some time. We have to get through this mountain pass no later than today." Gandalf answered, he then continued walking ahead of her.   
  
"But I'm tired!" Christina yelled at her. "This isn't fun! I hate this and I want to go home!"   
  
She then sat down on the snow covered ground. She was getting snow in her pants and shoes, but she didn't care. She wanted nothing more than to go home. It was then that she had a breakdown and cried as though she had just been dumped by her boyfriend.   
  
Everyone in the company, excpet Pippin who was running around and eating snow, looked at Christina. Tears were pouring from her eyes and she was squealing (*Think of the break-up scene in Legally Blonde when Elle was crying*)  
  
Aragorn stopped to comfort her. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"Well duh! I want to go home. I'm tired and I'm hungry and I look awful. I want to go home! I miss my boyfriend. I miss my parents. I even miss my stupid brother!" She then began to squeal again.   
  
"But you must calm down." He told her. "We still have a long way to go and crying isn't going to get you anywhere."  
  
Christina looked at him. "We still have a long way to go?"   
  
Aragorn nodded. "Yes."  
  
"Oh no!" She wailed and then rolled over on her stomach and began kicking the ground as though a little kid would.   
  
"Is there anything that will..." He then looked ahead at Pippin who was currently jumping off a rock ahead of them. Aragorn suddenly got an idea and ran ahead to get Pippin.   
  
Pippin quickly climbed up the rock that was about six feet high and when he got to the top edge he jumped down and hit the ground with a thud. He then got up and shook her snow off him and yelled. "Again!" And ran around the climb up the rock.   
  
Aragorn watched the hobbit fall off the rock again. When he fell, it looked as though Pippin really hurt himself. Aragorn ran to his side. "Pippin are you alright?"  
  
Pippin shook the snow off of his head and then looked at Aragorn and yelled. "Again!"  
  
Aragorn stopped him from climbing up the rock. "Pippin, did you enjoy the breakfast that Christina shared with you?"  
  
"Oh yes very much!" The hobbit said trying to get up the rock.   
  
"Well, Christina isn't looking right now so how about you go down there and just take some more from her bag." Aragorn said.   
  
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!" Pippin yelled. He then ran down to Christina's bag, and noticed that Christina was still crying and making that awful noise. He then went over to her bag and opened it.   
  
Sam and Frodo were trying to get Christina to calm down. Which made it just that easier for Pippin to get into her bag.   
  
"But it won't be that hard." Sam told her.   
  
"We could help you." Frodo offered.   
  
Christina just continued to cry and squeal.  
  
"Make the noise stop!" Legolas yelled covering his ears.   
  
Christina looked up and then walked over and got up and got in his face. "Listen buddy...I'm not used to walking all day up hill. I'm tired. I need sleep..I..."  
  
Legolas cut her off. "You need to wash those black lines off your face." He said.  
  
"I can't! There is no water around for me to do so. Not like it matters. I have no cute guys to impress anyway." Christina said.   
  
"Are you telling me that I am not 'cute' as you would say?" Legolas looked offended.   
  
"Well yeah." Christina said. "I mean, not even Hanson had their hair so long."  
  
"Hanson?" Legolas asked.   
  
Christina just then dropped back onto the ground and began crying again. "Whats the point? I'm never going to get home and I'm never going to..." She then looked up and noticed that Pippin was going through her gym bag. She then jumped back up and charged at the hobbit. "PIIIIIIIIIPPPPIIIIIIIN!" Christina screamed as she ran at him.  
  
Pippin finally found the coffee pack and ate the coffee beans out of it. He then noticed that Christina was running up the hill screaming. "Uh oh." He then picked up her bag and ran up the hill screaming. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"  
  
"You little! I hate you! I can't believe you went through my bag!" Christina yelled.   
  
Pippin and Christina ran past everyone to the front of the line. Pippin was somehow was outrunning Christina quite well.   
  
Aargorn smirked as he saw Christina chasing Pippin. "I knew that would work." He thought to himself.   
  
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After hours of walking, and Christina and Pippin running. He finally gave up and gave her bag back. But when she caught him, she was too tired to hurt him, so she just took her bag back.   
  
The wind picked up, and the snow was blowing in their faces. It was even colder than ever. Gandalf led the way, Aragorn and Boromir had to carry the hobbits through the snow, Gimli seemed to be having a bit of trouble walking through the waist deep snow, Legolas was somehow walking on the snow, and Christina was just dragging her bag through the snow behind everyone.   
  
"Why do the hobbits get a free ride!" She yelled. "This is not far at all."   
  
Suddenly, Christina ran into Boromir. "Hey wait, why did we stop?"  
  
Boromir turned to her. "We are debating what to do. Saurman is trying to bring down the mountain."  
  
Christina just looked at him confused. She then heard Gandalf yelling something into the wind. Then a huge pile of snow fell on top of all of them.   
  
Christina acted as though she was swimming and pushed with her arms and jumped up. She looked around and everyone was already out of the snow mound and fighting. She didn't pay attention, she was more worried about the fact that she probably wasn't going to get back to New York, she was going to die of hypothermea (sp?).   
  
"We shall go through the mines!" She heard Frodo yelled.   
  
"Whatever we do can we get off this mountain!" Christina yelled (actually demanded) to all of them. They all turned to look at her, and she couldn't exactly see them, but it looked as though they all rolled her eyes.   
  
"If we are to go through the mines, then yes we will be getting off this mountain." Gandalf told Christina as he was walking towards her. "Follow me."  
  
Everyone turned and began following Gandalf down the mountain. But once again Christina lagged behind. She was tired and hungry enough as it was, but after chasing Pippin, it seemed as though all her energy had been drained and she just wanted to sit down and rest. But that was impossible.  
  
"You know...If I were one of the hobbits you would carry me!" Christina continued to yell at them. "I hate you! I hate all of you! I want to go home!"   
  
No one payed attention to her, but then an idea popped into her head.   
  
"I'm going to cry again!" She yelled.   
  
She could tell that they stopped to seeif she was telling the truth. Ah the plan was working.   
  
"I wanna go home!" She said as she began to do the whiney cry again when suddenly something plowed into her.   
  
"Christina! I shall help you." She looked down to see who it was. And for some reason they had Pippin come back to help her.   
  
"Um, that won't work. Since you are half my size!" She yelled.   
  
Pippin was still on a rush from the coffee beans, but there was no way he could help her.   
  
"Yes I can." He then kicked her knee and then grabbed her bag and ran down the mountain screaming.  
  
Chistina rubbed her knee and then torn down after him. "How many times do I have to tell you not to touch my bag and don't hit me!"  
  
~~~  
  
As the company walked back down the mountain, they all listen to Christina whine. They ignored it, until she threatened to start crying again.   
  
"No! She cannot make that awful sound again!" Gimli said.  
  
"Well would you like to go help her?" Gandalf asked.   
  
"I'm not going to go help that witch!" Legolas said.   
  
They all heard her start to whine and then they knew that something had to be done.   
  
"Will she share her breakfast with me again if I help her?" Pippin suddenly asked them.   
  
Aragorn looked at him and smiled devilishly. "Yes...I believe she will..."  
  
"Yay!" Pippin yelled as he jumped out of Boromir's arm and then charged back up the hill screaming. "Yaaaaaaaaaaayy...Ou!" He suddenly ran into something and knew it was Christina.   
  
~*~*~*~**~  
  
"Are you sure that sending Pippin up to help Christina was a good idea?" Gandalf asked Aargorn over the wind.   
  
"Come back here you little worm!" They heard Christina's voice shreek. And shortly behind it the, "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" scream of Pippin trying to get away from her.   
  
Gandalf just rolled his eyes. "Come on now. We must be going."   
  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Pippin screamed as he ran right past Aragorn and Gandalf.   
  
Christina quickly ran past them still chasing Pippin. She seemed to be picking stuff up as she was running and screaming at the hobbit.   
  
"Does that girl ever calm down?" Gimli asked as the company began to move again.   
  
"I would doubt it..." Legolas began. And then they heard Pippin's "AAAAAAHHHHH!" and the pounding of Christina's shoes circling around them. "I mean, have you seen the under garments she wears? It is just a little piece of cloth in the middle. She must have it caught up there and it causes her mood swings."  
  
"How would you know what her under garments look like?" Boromir asked as the whole group suddenly stopped to look at the elf.  
  
Legolas' face turned red. "She wears those low pants and it is my fault that she was bending over and I just happened to look at her." He then looked at all their confused faces. "Leave me alone." He then continued to walk on.   
  
They continued to walk on, every now and then hearing the screaming of Pippin and then the threats from Christina. They finally escaped the snow storm towards the bottom, but they still trudged through the snow.   
  
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Pippin ran through the line. And everyone cleared out of the way.   
  
Christina was within arms grasp of him after they past Gandalf and she jumped at him tackling him face down to the ground.   
  
"OU! She's hurting me...!" Pippin yelled as Christina grabbed his hair and beat his head on the ground over and over.   
  
"You little verman! You took my bag! You kicked me!" Christina yelled.   
  
"Merry! Sam! Frodo!" Pippin screamed. "Help me!"  
  
Christina continously beat on him and then suddenly stopped. "Why is no one restraining me?" She asked aloud.   
  
"Why is no one helping me?" Pippin asked sounding discouraged.   
  
Both turned around to see the rest of the eight staring down at them, well actually it looked like they were intensly looking at Christina's butt..   
  
"Yes?..." Christina asked slowly.  
  
"The elf is right. She does have an under garment up her behind." Gimli said pointing at her pants.   
  
Christina turned bright red as she stood up to pull up her pants. She didn't care about people seeing her thong, it was when they stared at her butt was when she got embarrassed. Damn hiphuggers.  
  
"What is that?" Merry asked.   
  
"A thong." Christina mumbled as she was still blushing.   
  
"A thong?" Everyone echoed.   
  
"Isn't it uncomfortable?" Aragorn asked.   
  
"Why would you wear sure a thing?" Frodo asked.   
  
"See I told you it was noticable!" Legolas told all of them.   
  
"Hello!" Pippin yelled as he stood up and looked at everyone. They all looked at him, silent. "Doesn't anyone care that she just hit my head against the ground ten times?"  
  
They all looked at him, and then one another, then back to Christina. And started back up with the questions.   
  
"So who came up with such an invention?" Sam asked.   
  
"Doesn't it bother you during the day?" Boromir asked.   
  
"Okay! Enough!" Christina yelled. "Can we just move on!" As she pulled her pants up once more.  
  
"Can we please pity the badly wounded hobbit!" Pippin begged pathictly.   
  
"Oh shut up you big baby!" Christina said as she pushed him down again.   
  
"Your always telling us to shut up, now I am going to tell you to shut up!" Merry suddenly came forth to say.   
  
"Oh you think you are the little hobbit hero do you?!" Christina asked.   
  
"Yes I suppose I do." He told her firmly. "So shut up."  
  
Christina just looked at him. "You know what, if you can kick yourself in the head I will never tell you to shut up again." She smirked.   
  
"And how am I suppoded to do that?" Merry asked.   
  
"You figure it out." Christina challenged him.   
  
"But I..." Merry began.   
  
"Hey, you figure it out by tomorrow morning and I will never tell you to shut up again." Christina said.   
  
"Fine." Merry said.   
  
Christina turned to Gandalf. "Oh wise and fearless leader, please lead on." She said.   
  
Gandalf took offense to the tone in her voice, but did not say anything, no one did, though Legolas did glare at her as he walked past her.   
  
Christina continued to follow everyone. She noticed that Boromir was carrying Pippin. The caffine had worn off and he was now dead tired.   
  
"My feet hurt! When are we going to stop!" Christina complained.   
  
"Oh be quiet!" Legolas yelled at her.   
  
"Hey elf boy maybe you could carry me." Christina said.   
  
Legolas stopped at turned to her. "My name is not elf-boy."  
  
"It is, if I say it is." Christina told him.   
  
Legolas just rolled his eyes and continued to walk on. Christina followed, yelling at them. She really couldn't wait to stop and sleep, and maybe for once even eat something...gasp!  
  
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Heehee. I am still laughing at the idea of Pippin eating coffee beans. Oh well. Review if you wish. Chapter four is coming soon (I hope) and now I am off to go eat. I'm starving! 


	4. I can kick myself in the head

Argh! It has been hell for me to get this chapter up. Whenever I would get the chance to sit down and write the chapter, the computer wouldn't be working. Then when I did write it, I would hate what I wrote. I swear I have wrote and then rewrote the chapter eight times! But it is finally DONE! Yeah, sort of a lame excuse, but a true one. So, here is the next chapter...Finally. Hope you enjoy it.   
  
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"Are we there yet?" Christina asked as walked about two feet behind Aragorn.   
  
"No." Aragorn replied curtly.   
  
Christina waited a minute. "Are we there yet?" She asked again.   
  
"No."   
  
  
  
"Are we there yet?" Each time she asked her voice got more and more whiney.  
  
"No."  
  
"Are we there yet?"   
  
"No."  
  
"Are we there yet?'  
  
"No."  
  
"Are we there yet?"   
  
"No."   
  
"Are we there yet?"  
  
"No." By now it wasn't had to tell that he was ready to snap.   
  
"Aragorn?" Christina asked.   
  
Aragorn wiped around and looked at her. "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" He yelled. "AND NO WE ARE NOT THERE YET! THE MORE YOU ASK ME THE LONGER WE ARE GOING TO WALK!"  
  
Christina looked at him innocently, and then held her hand out holding a necklace out to him. "I just wanted to say that you dropped this." She told him, acting as though she was upset that he had yelled at her. But really she had achieved her goal of pissing him off for the day. After all, he had that little pipsqueak steal her bag earlier.   
  
Aragorn looked at the necklace, and then at the look on Christina's face. "Where did you find this?" He asked.   
  
Christina dropped it into his hand. "Back there." She pointed back towards the way they had just come.   
  
"Thank you. I didn't know I dropped it." Aragorn said as he then put it around his neck.   
  
"Hold up! You mean you wear that?" Christina exclaimed. "I thought it was like a present for your girlfriend or something!"  
  
Aragorn just shook his head. "No, it was a gift from my, girlfriend as you would say." He told her.   
  
"Okay, gift giving in Middle Earth is totally wack." Christina said aloud.   
  
"Why do you say that?" Aragorn asked her.   
  
  
  
"Um, usually it is the males who get jewelry for the girls. And then the girls knit the guys an ugly sweater which they never wear except for when their girlfriend gives them a hard time about not apprecating what she got him." Christina explained. "Well, knitting really isn't my thing. Usually I buy my boyfriend like really nice cologne or something...But then there was this one time I wanted this guy to dump me so I knitted him this like green and orange sweater and said that if he didn't wear the next day to school I would break up with him. But that back fired when he actually wore it. Man, that was like the worst day of his life. Even I laughed at him." She said in her usual airhead tone whenever she told a story.   
  
After rolling his eyes, Aragorn thought a moment, and then motioned for her to come along with him, as they were now lagging a bit behind. "You are a women, right?" He asked.   
  
Christina looked at him confused as she walked beside him. "Last time I checked, yes." She said.   
  
Aragorn seemed to blush. "No, I mean...I can't believe I am saying this, but I need your advice." He said. "A women's advice."  
  
Christina's eyes brightened. "Really?!"  
  
Aragorn jumped and then covered his ears. "Do you have to yell?"  
  
"No...I just got excited. I mean, I am so good at giving people advice." Christina gloated.   
  
"Okay, well...You see, I don't know how things are in your time. But I am a man, and then my girlfriend is an elf." He explained, ignoring Christina's snicker when he said, 'I am a man'. "Elves are immortal, and well, men are not. And currently the elves are sailing to the Undying Lands, and leaving Middle Earth."  
  
"So? Why don't you just go with her?" Christina asked.   
  
"Because, I have to help Frodo with this quest. And then I must...Well...Her father wants her to forget about me and just sail off. But how can I just let the one women meant for me?" He asked her.   
  
Christina thought the story sounded like the sweetest type of romance story that should be in the movies. Wait, techinally it is in the movies, but whatever. "Oh!" She finally squealed. "That is the sweetest story. The whole, 'we must be together, but our families won't let us' thing."   
  
Aragorn just shook his head. "Maybe I shouldn't have asked." He said, sounding upset.   
  
"Oh no." Christina said. "Sorry, I didn't mean to do that. But really...Okay, here's the thing. She loves you right?"  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"Well then she is going to stay so that after this whole Ring thingy is done with then you can run off and be married. I mean, who actually listens to what their parents say anyway?" She said.   
  
"I did..." He said.   
  
"Okay...Other than you, who listens to their parents?" Christina rephrased.   
  
Boromir who was listening in on the conversation spoke up. "I always did."   
  
"Okay! Was I talking to you?" Christina yelled. "No! Didn't think so! But either way, why the hell do you listen to your parents?"  
  
Legolas had heard with his freakish elf ears what they were talking about and had to put his two cents in. "Here in Middle Earth, we talk very much pride in our heritage. I don't know how it is done where you come from. But we always honour our parents and do as they say. They have always known the best for us."   
  
Christina just looked at him. "Listen Elfy. I listen to my parents...sometimes, and I do honour them. But they don't always know best."   
  
"Yes they do." He protested.   
  
"No they don't!" Christina said.  
  
"Okay, give me one example!" Legolas challenged.   
  
"If your parents told you to go jump off a cliff would you do it?" She asked.   
  
"If it would bring my family honour than yes." Legolas said proudly.   
  
"Uh, stupid. It wouldn't bring honour, it would bring death." Christina said in a 'duh' voice.   
  
The three just stopped and thought a moment while Christina walked ahead of them. She was begining to think that Legolas was out to make her look bad. Oh bad idea. Bad idea.   
  
She then looked ahead, Merry was walking along side Frodo. And he seemed to be kicking upward. Haha, he was taking her little bet seriously. There was no way he could figure out how to kick himself in the head, and even if he did, she would still tell him to shut up regardless of the bet.   
  
Finally they all stopped to camp out for the night in the forest no doubt. With bugs, and animals, and icky things. Christina was not going to have a good sleep.   
  
Merry suddenly came up to her and stood there with his hands on his hips. "I can kick myself in the head." He said proudly.   
  
Christina turned towards him a smirked. "Oh really. Lets see it." She said.   
  
Merry smiled evilly. He then leaned forward and kicked his left foot up with all his stretgh and did actually kick himself in the forehead. He then put his foot down and began howling in pain. "That hurt!" He yelled.   
  
Christina just burst out laughing. "Thats great! I didn't actually think you would do it!" She said.   
  
Suddenly Gandalf and Pippin came running over to them. "Why is this hobbit howling in pain?" Gandalf asked Christina.   
  
Christina was laughing too hard. But she finally got out between laughing. "He kicked himself in the head."  
  
Gandalf looked over at Merry who was holding his forehead. "Merry. Please, tell me. Why did you kick yourself...And how did you do such a thing."  
  
Merry pointed at Christina. "She made me do it!" He told them like a little child tattling.  
  
Christina stopped laughing and glared at the halfling. "I did not." She told him with a scowl.  
  
"You did too!" Merry yelled.   
  
"Did not!"  
  
"Did too!"  
  
"Did not!"  
  
  
  
"Did too!"  
  
"Did not!"  
  
Gandalf was looking from one to the other as they were practically screaming at each other. "Why can't you just stop screaming?" He asked.   
  
Neither Merry or Christina heard him and continued their screaming match.   
  
"Did not!" Christina yelled.   
  
"Did too!" Merry said, his forehead was fine and she couldn't see what he was whiney about.   
  
"Did not!"  
  
"Fine!" Merry said. "I bet you can't do it."  
  
"No I can't kick myself in the head. But I can pull my foot up to touch my head." Christina said.   
  
"No you can't." Merry rolled his eyes.   
  
"yes I can." Christina told him.   
  
Merry just gave her a 'yeah right' look. "No you can't."  
  
"Yes I can." Christina said.   
  
"No you can't."  
  
"Yes I can."  
  
"No you can't!"  
  
"Yes I can!"   
  
They were once again screaming at each other. Gandalf was wondering if any orcs were around and could hear the two.   
  
"Fine, show us!" Merry said putting her on the spot.  
  
"Fine you little brat."  
  
"Brat?" Merry asked, confused with the word.   
  
"Oh your hopeless." Christina said. "I just need to change back into my skirt."   
  
"Fine...But make it quick. I'm tired." Merry complained.   
  
Christina rolled her eyes. She then went over to her bag and dug out her cheerleading skirt. She then went behind a tree and changed out of her jeans, and took a moment to stretch out her legs and back. Then she went back to the little campsite.  
  
Aragorn looked at her. "Why are you wearing that thing again?" He asked her, rolling his eyes.   
  
"The little dork over there doesn't believe that I can touch my foot to my head." Christina replied.   
  
"So that was what all the yelling was about..." Gimli said. It was easy to tell that he was getting more and more annoyed with Christina every hour.  
  
"Well I can." Christina said.   
  
"Then show us." Gimli told her.   
  
Christina glared at him. "Fine...Watch." She then walked out so she had her space. She then leaned forward a bit and wrapped her right hand around her right foot and then pulled it up, and arched her back towards her foot. ((*a/n: I know that is some cheerleader move, but I don't know what it is called. In figure skating though, it is a spin position called a Biellmann*)).  
  
The nine all gasped as they clearly saw the bottom of her shoe touch the top of her head. The fact of the flexibilty in her back and legs.   
  
"How do you do that?" Frodo asked, wide eyed. "I know I could never do that."   
  
Christina let her foot down and stood up straight, with a huge smile on her face. "Its easy."  
  
"So can everyone from...where ever it is you are from..." Boromir began.   
  
"New York." Christina corrected him.   
  
Boromir looked at her. "Right...so can everyone from New York do such a thing?" He asked.   
  
Christina shook her head, still smiling. "Nope. Only a selected few...The talented ones." She said.   
  
"Is there anything else you can do?" Sam asked.   
  
Christina thought a minute. "Yep." She then walked a little to the side and then ran ahead to get speed, and then did a 'flip-flop' then came back towards them and did a one handed cartwheel. She looked at them with an even bigger smile.   
  
"Wow." Pippin said. "I want to learn how to do that."   
  
  
  
"Okay...Whatever." Christina said.   
  
"I think it is witchcraft." Legolas said.   
  
Christina glared at him and was about to open her mouth, but was beaten to saying something.   
  
"Will you let that whole thing go about the witchcraft?" Aragorn asked sounding annoyed with Legolas.   
  
"Huh?" Christina looked surprised. "You're defending me? Thats new." She mumbled.  
  
"What? Now you are standing up for the crazy girl?" Legolas asked.   
  
"Well, what she can do is quite amazing." Aragorn said.   
  
Christina gave Aragorn a confused look. "Well, thanks. But um...Why are you standing up for me exactly?"  
  
"Well, you see...If she can do that, and has the proper fighting skills...and is forced to continue the quest with us. She could actually come to some use for us if we should meet any orcs along the journey." Aragorn told them.   
  
"Huh?" Christina said.   
  
"You think she will be at all useful to us?" Legolas and Gimli exclaimed.   
  
"Is it possible that the girl helps us at all?" Gimli asked.   
  
"Well prehaps the orcs will think her screeching is so awful they will just clear way." Legolas said with a laugh.   
  
"Or prehaps is she was to wear no make-up the orcs would just run away frightened." Gimli said.   
  
Christina stood there glaring at them. "I hate you. Stupid elf and dwarf, can agree about nothing other than the fact that they hate me." She said. "You all suck so badly."   
  
"Wait..." Boromir said. "The elf and the dwarf are for once getting along? Is it possible?"   
  
"Yes..." Gandalf said. "I suppose all they had to do was find some common ground."  
  
Legolas shrugged. "So I guess that you dropping in on our guest was actually a good thing." He told Christina. He and Gimli then walked off and continued to make fun of Christina.   
  
Christina was confused. "Why is it such a big deal that they are getting along?" She asked.   
  
"Well, it is just that dwarves and elves have never gotten along." Gandalf told her. "So the fact they are having pleasent conversation, is very surprising."   
  
Christina thought a moment. "So it is kind of like the jocks and the nerds in high school?" She asked.   
  
Gandalf looked confused. "Sure..." He said. "Anyway...It is time to get to sleep."   
  
The rest of the group them went back to their little sleeping areas and began to get settled back down. Eventually, everyone fell asleep.   
  
  
  
*************************  
  
Merry lay awake that night. He hated sleeping out in the woods. Who knew what was out there? He just lay there, wide eyed, paranoid, waiting for the worst to happen.  
  
Suddenly he heard something. What was it? A bear? A wolf? ((a/n: What animals would be in the woods in Middle Earth? Other than orcs.)) Whatever it was, it was an awfully loud grunting noise.   
  
It wasn't going away, and it was getting louder and louder. Almost as though it was in camp. He slowly went over to Pippin's little sleeping area.   
  
"Pippin?" Merry whispered, shaking his friend nervously. "Pippin..." A little louder. Then practically yelled, "PIPPIN!" In his ear.   
  
Pippin sat up straight. "Oh no! Whats wrong? Save the breakfast!" He yelled as he then jumped up and ran around the camp.  
  
Merry got up and ran after him, Pippin was in a panic mode, running around the camp mad. "Pippin! No! Shut up!"  
  
Pippin was franticly trying to stuff everything into Sam's bag. He then stood up and began running around. "Wake up! Wake up! There is...There is...Um..." He paused as everyone in the company were sitting up and complaining at him. "Um, Merry...Who exactly was trying to steal our breakfast?"  
  
"Yes Merry!" Frodo yelled. "Who is trying to steal our breakfast and having Pippin wake us up?"  
  
Merry just stood there. "No one."  
  
"Then why did he wake us up?" Boromir asked.   
  
"I heard someone, or something grunting...It...It scared me." Merry told all them.   
  
Everyone groaned.   
  
"And so you had to go and have the hyper active hobbit wake everyone up?" Gimli asked.   
  
"He was the one who got so worked up over his breakfast!" Merry pointed out.   
  
Gandalf stood up. "Back to bed everyone. I assure you Meridoc that nothing will harm us tonight."   
  
Merry scowled and walked back to his little sleeping bag.   
  
"Hey you little loser..." Christina said as he walked past her. "Wake me up from my beauty rest again and I will kill you."  
  
"What beauty rest?" He asked her. "I would pick an orc over you any day."  
  
"Whatever." Christina said as she then rolled over to go back to sleep.  
  
Merry lay awake still. The noise was still there...He could just picture a big animal stalking around the camp, trying to decide who it was going to eat first. It scared him. All night he lay awake, paraniod and listening to the noise the whole night.  
  
Actually, the strange noise sounded like it was coming from Christina's little sleeping area. (...She was snoring...)  
  
******************  
  
"Miss Christina...It is time to wake up." Christina heard Sam's voice telling her.   
  
Christina opened her eyes and noticed it was still dark. She rubbed her eyes. "No way...The sun isn't even up." She told him rolling over and pulling the blanket over her head.  
  
"Aargorn has requested you wake up just a little bit early so that he can teach you how to use a sword and such." Sam told her.   
  
Christina sat up and took the blanket off her head. "You tell Aragorn there is no way in hell I am going wake up early for that." She then lay back down with her blanket over her.   
  
"But he said..." Sam continued.   
  
"I don't care!" Christina yelled.   
  
  
  
"But!" Same yelled back.   
  
"Go away!" Christina yelled. Luckily she heard Sam walk away, so she began to fall back to sleep.  
  
Not five minutes later, she heard footsteps coming towards her. She just pretended to still be asleep.  
  
"Christina!" She heard Aragorn's voice come. She just lay there on the ground under the blanket, not moving at all.   
  
"Oh I know your not asleep, get up!" Aragorn demanded.   
  
Christina just lay there.   
  
"Oh Pippin! Stop going through Christina's bag!" Aragorn said.   
  
Christina shot up and looked around. "Why you little!..." She yelled. Then noticing that her bag was at her side, and Pippin was still sleeping. It was all a plot of his to get her up. She just looked at Aragorn and then sat back down. "Oh, I'm going back to sleep now. Wake me up in an hour." She said, pulling the blanket back over her entire body.  
  
"No your not. We may be meeting orcs soon and you need to learn how to weld a sword." Aragorn told her.   
  
"Go away! I'm tired!" Christina yelled at him. "And I sleeping as long as I want to!"  
  
"No your not!" Aragorn corrected her.   
  
"Yes I am!" Christina yelled.   
  
"No!"  
  
Christina sat up, glared at him. "Watch me!" She then lay back down with the blanket over her head again.   
  
Aragorn got fed up. He then picked up the end of the blanket and pulled it completely off of her. "No your not!" He told her.   
  
Christina wrapped her arms around herself, and stretched her legs. "I hate you." She said.   
  
"Thats nice." Aragorn said, throwing the blanket back at her. "Now get up, and I want all your stuff packed up in five minutes. I'll be back then."   
  
Christina sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Five minutes is not enough time for me to get ready."   
  
"You do not need to put all that gunk on your face." Aragorn told her.   
  
"But!..."   
  
"Don't 'but' me..." Aragorn warned. "Now hurry up...I'll be back in a moment."   
  
Christina began mumbling to herself as Aragorn walked off. She then began to roll up her two bed blankets, and putting everything in her bag, and then changing into her jeans and put her sweatshirt and tennis shoes on. Then Aragorn came back over to her as she was putting on a bit of make-up.  
  
"Are you ready?" He asked.   
  
"Yeah whatever." Christina said as she finished putting mascara on her eyelashes, and then putting her make-up bag into her blue gym back. She stood up. "Okay Yoda. What are we going to do first?" She asked him.   
  
Aragorn gave her a look. "Come with me." He said, leading her away from the campsite.   
  
Christina began to follow Aragorn. She just wanted to go to sleep. Not learn how to use those stupid weapons. Why didn't she have pepper spray in her bag? Then she would have the one and only weapon she would need. But nooo...she had to learn how to use those things, and she was not at all excited about it.   
  
  
  
Christina just began singing to herself, noticing that Aragorn kept looking back at her and rolling his eyes. Finally he stopped in this little area, with swords, knives, a bow, and arrows and a target about thirty feet away. 'Oh no. I need to be nice because he can easily kill me out here and just leave me out here without any trace.' She thought to herself. "And no one would miss me!" She then let out a high pitched yelp. "That would be just awful!" She said outloud.   
  
"What would?" Aragorn asked her.   
  
Christina had not realized that she had said that outloud. "If I were to trip over that rock that we just passed." She covered.   
  
"Okay...in your words...Whatever." He said.   
  
Aragorn went over and picked up two swords. "Okay...This will be your sword from now on. You will be expected to fight along side us...Because if we are attacked by orcs, we will have to protect Frodo, not you." Aragorn told her. "So you better pay attention."  
  
Christina rolled her eyes and held her hands out to take the sword. "Okay...Lets just get this over with." She said, and then she began to listen to Aragorn teach her how to use the heavy sword.  
  
Aragorn handed her the sword. As soon as he let go of it, and Christina took it in her hand, she practically fell over because it was so heavy.   
  
"OU!" Christina cried, and then stood up straight again, yet holding onto her lower back with the sword proped up as a cane. "You never said anything about making me nearly break my back!"   
  
"You are just not strong." Aragorn said. "That, and you were holding it wrong."  
  
"Well whats the 'right way' to hold it?" Christina said in a smart ass tone. She was already practically broken in half just holding onto the sword. This was not going to be much fun.  
  
**************************************************  
  
Haha...Miss Priss has to learn how to use a sword! I'll go more into detail in the next chapter. Which should be coming soon. Hope you liked it. Review! Love y'all lots! ~Liza Jane 


	5. Learning to Fight and Blending In

Finally! Another chapter! I am so happy it is done. So...no need to hear me yack on and on...Read the story! I had fun writing this chapter. Hope y'all enjoy it!  
  
**************************************  
  
Christina tried once again to do the little sword-fighting-thing that Aragorn had taught her. Once again dropping the sword.   
  
"You forgot to move your feet." Aragorn told her.   
  
  
  
Christina glared at him. "That stupid sword hurt my wrist again!" She told him.  
  
"I highly doubt that the sword 'tried' to hurt you." Aragorn rolled his eyes at her once again.   
  
"I hate that thing!" Christina told him fiercely.   
  
"That 'thing' was a gift...Given to me by..." Aragorn began.   
  
"I don't give a rats ass!" Christina screamed and stompted her foot. "I hate that thing! I hate it!...I hate it!...I hate it!"   
  
Aragorn stood there and moment, obvisously trying to keep from killing Christina by counting to ten. Finally he went over to her and took the sword. "Alright then. There are plenty of other weapons you can use." He said.   
  
"There are?" Christina asked, wide eyed. She hoped her hissy-fit would make him just give up.   
  
"Yes." Aragorn said. "You always want to carry at least two with you at all times. Especially in times like these."   
  
"So what are my choices?" Christina asked, as she followed Aragorn over to the other weapons he had already layed out.  
  
"Well...The bow and arrows." Aragorn said, pointing the bow out to her.  
  
  
  
Christina quickly shook her head. "Nope. Elfy uses that. And I don't want to be using the same weapon as that stupid blonde haired twit." She told him.   
  
"You know, he could just as easily say the same thing about you." Aragorn told her.   
  
"I don't have blonde hair." Christina said. "I have blonde highlights. There is a difference." She paused and looked at his hair. "You know, maybe like a darkish red highlight would really do you good. I mean...Really if you want to impress that girl you keep talking about..."  
  
"Okay, whatever. I didn't know that you talked about your hair the same way that you talk about clothing." Aragorn said, and turned back to looking at the row of weapons. "Other than that there is the..."  
  
"A big stick!" Christina exclaimed out of nowhere.   
  
"What?"   
  
"I want to fight with a big stick!" Christina said. "Like that blonde girl who was on that Xena show...I could kick some major butt with a weapon like that."   
  
Aragorn gave her a confused look. "I don't have anything like that for you to use."   
  
Christina got up and then went over to a nearby tree, and picked up a broken branch that had fallen onto the ground. It was sturdy, and about four and a half feet long. And then took it back to Aragorn. "What about something like this one?" She asked. (*(a/n: I was watching Xena the other day...That how I got the idea to have her use a stick. lol)*)  
  
"I suppose you could use it." Aragorn said. "But, just so you know...The correct term is 'fighting staff'."  
  
"Okay." Christina said. "I get to fight with the big stick!" She exclaimed, mainly to herself.   
  
"Fighting staff!" Aragorn told her.   
  
Christina just looked at him. "Whatever." She said, turning her attention then back to the stick. "So, how do I use this?" She asked.   
  
"I don't know exactly. Swords are my speciality." Aragorn told her.   
  
"Oh." Christina said. "So I'm on my own for learning this?"   
  
"Pretty much." Aragorn shrugged.   
  
"Okay." Christina said. "I have seen it done on TV before. I just have to block up high, and then hit them low. I can do that."   
  
"Oh good. Now you know how to use the big fighting stick. Oh yeah, you'll stand a chance against the orcs." Aragorn said, mocking her and rolling his eyes.   
  
Christina gave him a confused look. Then noticed him picking up two knives. "Are those the knives that Sam uses to cook our meals with?" She asked him, catching him way off gaurd.  
  
"No, they are not cooking knives." Aragorn said.   
  
"I wanna learn to use those too!" Christina exclaimed. "They are nice, pretty and shiney. Like a quarter!" (*(a/n: I couldn't resist that!)*)   
  
"Alright. But that 'blonde twit' uses them too." Aragorn warned/mocked her.  
  
"So?" Christina asked with a shrug.   
  
"You didn't want to learn how to use the bow because Legolas used the same weapon." Aragorn reminded her.   
  
"Oh yeah. Um, that was just an exuse to not do it. That thing could make me break a nail." Christina told him.   
  
Aragorn stared at the girl in disbielf.   
  
Christina put her new stick down and then went and took the two knives. "So are you going to show me how to use these or what?" She then walked off and began singing "I'm a kick butt warrior babe!" and playing with the knives.   
  
Aragorn shook his head and rubbed his temples. Never again was he going to try to teach that girl something like how to use a weapon. He just went over to her and did his best to remain calm and show her how to use the swords, without killing her.  
  
********  
  
Later, once Christina had learned how to use the knives, and had a few practice 'fights' with Aragorn...The sun was begining to rise, which meant that it was time to go back to camp, because the company (and Christina) would be moving again.  
  
Christina looked around the camp. Sam was sitting on a rock sewing something, Frodo was talking to Merry and Pippin, Boromir was doing something, Gandalf was sitting alone (probably thinking about something) and Legolas and Gimli were talking. She didn't see her blue gym bag anyway. So what else was she to do?  
  
"PIPPIN!" Christina yelled and dropped everything she was holding.   
  
"What did you do that for?" Aragorn asked her, staring at everything she just dropped.   
  
Christina looked at it. "Oh yeah...sorry." She said and then looked over at Pippin who had just appeared at her side.  
  
"Yes?" Pippin asked her.   
  
"What have you done with my bag?" Christina demanded.  
  
"You dropped my best arrows." Aragorn said pitifully as he knelt down to pick them up.   
  
"Oh...Sorry." Christina said, then turned back to Pippin. "Did you touch my bag?"   
  
Pippin put his hands behind his back and began to rock back and forth on his heels. "No. I haven't touched it this morning...Mainly because I couldn't find it, but still. I haven't touched it." Pippin told her.   
  
Aragorn was looking at an arrow which Christina had dropped. "This one is completely ruined. Are you happy now?" He asked her in dismay.   
  
Christina looked at him. "Oh...Yeah...Um, I'm sorry." She said and then turned back to the hobbit.   
  
Aragorn gave her a look that said "I can't believe you just ruined my favorite arrows and you don't care" and then walked off mumbling to himself.   
  
"I promise...I didn't touch it..." Pippin said. "I couldn't find it. But if I did...I would have loved to have some of your breakfast."  
  
"So you didn't touch my bag?" Christina asked him.   
  
Pippin shook his head. "Nope." He said.  
  
"Well then who took my bag?" Christina wondered aloud.   
  
"I did." A voice piped up.   
  
Christina turned to see Sam standing there with a dark brown bag, and two folded pieces of clothing.   
  
"Sam...where is my bag?" Christina asked.   
  
"Right here." He told her, handing her the bag. "Don't worry. It is your old bag, which everything in it. I just sewed a blanket over it, and then adjusted it so you can carry it on your back."   
  
"Why?" Christina asked taking the bag from him..   
  
"Aragorn told me to." Sam said. He then also handed her the clothing he was holding. "He also asked me to make you this."  
  
"What it is?" Christina looked at it. It was a light brown, short skirt, and top. Which was a one piece dress, but with a diamond shape cut out in the front.  
  
"Your new traveling dress." Aragorn's voice came.   
  
Christina turned and saw Aragorn standing there. She shot him a look of hate and then looked at the ugly outfit. "What do you mean, my new traveling dress?" She asked.   
  
"That is what you are going to wear from now." Aragorn told her. He was still holding the stupid arrows that she had ruined.   
  
"Why?" Christina asked.   
  
"Because, you need to blend in with the rest of us. And you are definately not doing that in those blue pants and pink shirt." He said.   
  
"I have you pull my weight and blend in?!" Christina exclaimed.   
  
"Yes." He said.  
  
Christina just let out a screech and then turned and kicked a rock nearby. "Why?"  
  
"Because. Our traveling is going to be a little more intense. You need to keep up, thats why your bag was altered. And also, you need a skirt anyway to do all those flippy things." Aragorn replied. "And you ruined my arrows." He then began to look at his precious arrows again.  
  
"So this is a punishment?" Christina exclaimed.  
  
"Yes." Aragorn said, practically hugging his arrows.  
  
"But I...I don't...I can't believe that..." Christina suddenly couldn't talk. She just looked at Aragorn and stomped her foot on the group. "Ooooooooo." She practically growled at him and then walked off mumbling. She went behind a tree in order to change, but she was dreading it.   
  
The fighting was stupid enough that she had to do it, but then she had to wear this awful outfit. She put it on, and then invisioned a mirror in front of her. It wasn't too much to look at, but when it was on her, it was hot. It was short and tight enough for her liking, and then the diamond that was cut out in the front showed off her stomach. Finally after imaging herself in front of a mirror and admiring herself; she decided that the 'traveling dress' wasn't all too bad.   
  
She darted out from behind the tree with her old clothes. She threw them on her bag and then looked around for Sam.   
  
"Sam!" Christina called in a little sing song voice as she finally found him packing something up.  
  
"Yes?" Sam asked, wondering what she was in such a good mood about.   
  
Christina went over and hugged the hobbit. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. This outfit is the best." She told him.   
  
Sam gave her a confused look. "But I heard you talking to yourself about it." He said. "You said 'This is even uglier than the dwarf'." Sam quoted.   
  
Christina shook her head. "I didn't say that silly." She said, still all happy. "It is just prefect, wouldn't you say?" She then spun around to model it for him.  
  
Sam looked at her curiously. "Yes...It looks wonderful on you." He said just to make her happy.   
  
"Oh, I have to go finish getting ready." Christina said. "I have to look just like the complete kick-butt babe today. Oh Sam! You are just so cool!" She then bent down and kissed him on the cheek, and then went to go finish getting ready.   
  
Sam just looked at her, very confused as she ran off.   
  
"What was that all about?" Frodo asked.   
  
"She hated the dress that Aragorn told me to make her. And suddenly she loves it." Sam said. "She is such a confusing girl."  
  
"That is nothing but an understandment." Frodo said, and then he began to help Sam pack up the camp.   
  
"Make WAYYYYYY!" Everyone suddenly heard a few minutes later. But to no one's surprise, Pippin was running through the camp with Christina chasing. But this time, he had something pulled over his head.   
  
"Come back here!" Christina screamed. She was so happy that her dress looked so good, but then she found the little dork going through her bag. And then he took off with her pantyhose on his head, looking like he was going to rob a bank or something.   
  
Pippin led Christina on a wild goose-chase around the camp. "You can't catch me! You can't catch me!" Pippin sang as he ran.   
  
"Out of all the things in my bag to take you get my pantyhose! I was going to wear those!" Christina said.   
  
"Oh well. They are mine now!" He called over his shoulder.   
  
  
  
Christina continued to chase him, yelling at him about how much she hated him and everyone else in the company. Finally she was able to grab the back of his cape and then pin him on the ground.   
  
"Get off of me!" Pippin yelled as he tried to get away from her.   
  
Christina took her pantyhose off his head. "You little dork! You probably stretched these damn things out! Oh my gosh I hate you!" She yelled.   
  
"Merry! Help me!" Pippin yelled.   
  
"Oh yeah, like that little dork can hurt me!" Christina said.   
  
Merry suddenly came out of nowhere and jumped on her back. "I heard that!" He yelled at her. "Pippin run!"  
  
Christina turned her attention to getting Merry off her back and Pippin was able to get away from her. But then he came back over to her and started to tickle to her sides.   
  
Christina squealed as he did that. "Don't!" She yelled at him.   
  
Merry laughed. "Now we know your weakness!" He then got off her back and began to tickle her as well.   
  
Christina fell backwards and began hitting the hobbits. "That is so not funny!" She said in between laughing. "I am really ticklish! Stop it!"  
  
"Now we know how to torture you!" Pippin said.   
  
"STOP IT!" Christina screamed.   
  
Aragorn and Boromir heard Christina yelling and ran over with their swords to see what was wrong.   
  
Boromir looked at the hobbits as they had pinned Christina and were tickling her. He just looked at them; confused. "What are you doing?" He asked them.   
  
Merry laughed. "She is really ticklish, like a hobbit child." He said. "It is her torture."   
  
Christina continued laughing then stopped. "Okay, you really need to stop! My side hurts!" She told them truthfully. She was indeed extremely ticklish, and was now very pissed that the two hobbits knew her major weakness.  
  
Merry stopped tickling her and then sat back and laughed. But Pippin continued to tickle her.   
  
"Pippin! I said stop it!" She said.   
  
"Under one condition!" He said.   
  
"What?" Christina asked, holding onto her aching side.   
  
  
  
"I want to learn to do those flippy things." He said.   
  
"What?" Christina exclaimed. "No way."  
  
"Okay then." Pippin said, and then continued to tickle her.   
  
After another twenty seconds Christina finally gave in. "Fine! I'll teach you how to do a cartwheel or something." She told him. "Just stop tickling me!"   
  
Pippin stopped. "You'll teach me? Really?" He asked, with wide, bright eyes.  
  
"As long as you never tickle me every again!" She said.   
  
"I promise." Pippin said.   
  
"I don't." Merry said.   
  
"Shut up!" Christina yelled at him.   
  
Merry looked at her. "You said that if I could kick myself in the head, which I did, you wouldn't ever say 'shut up' again." He reminded her.   
  
"I lied." Christina told him.   
  
"Fine then." Merry then started tickling her again.   
  
Christina screamed. "Okay! I promise I won't tell you to shut up anymore!" She said. "Just no more tickling!"  
  
Merry laughed at her. "Okay, okay. I guess we have tortured you enough for now." He said as he stood. "But now I know that you hate bugs and you are really ticklish. Ha! I can really get you mad."   
  
Christina was really tempted to tell him to shut up, but she didn't want to be tickled anymore.   
  
"Are you three done yet?" Boromir asked them. He and Aragorn had been watching them the past few minutes, hoping the stupid tickle war would end.  
  
The hobbits looked at them. "Yes." They said as then began to walk off.   
  
"Christina? Are you coming?" Boromir asked.   
  
Christina turned her head to look at them. "I can't get up." She said. "Help me."  
  
"What do you mean? You can't get up?" He asked.   
  
"My side hurts...I don't think I can walk right now." She said. "Carry me."  
  
Boromir and Aragorn looked at her. And shook their heads. "No. I am not going to carry you." Boromir said. "You would talk about dresses or something."  
  
"You ruined my arrows." Was all Aragorn said to her.   
  
Christina growled at them. She then slowly rolled onto her stomach and began to crawl back to the camp. Seriously, her side hurt so badly she couldn't stand up right then. (*a/n: It hurts! I hate it when people tickle me like that!)  
  
The two men looked at her. "You are really hurt." Boromir said.   
  
"DUH!" Christina yelled at them.   
  
Boromir then went over and helped her up. He put her arm over his shoulder and then her arm around her waist and helped her back to camp. "How did something like tickling make you incapable to walk?" He asked.   
  
"You try being tickled for about fifteen minutes straight." Christina snapped.   
  
"You ruined my arrows." Aragorn's voice came as he followed behind them.  
  
Christina whinced in pain, not able to think of a good come back. She just continued to make her way back to camp with the help of Boromir. Finally when they got there, Boromir sat her down near her stuff.   
  
"Thank you." Christina said. "And I didn't even start to talk about dresses."   
  
"No you didn't." He said. "Thank you."  
  
Christina began to look through her bag. Then she looked up and Boromir was still standing there. "Yes?" She asked.   
  
"I just wanted to make sure you are alright." Boromir told her.   
  
"I'm fine." She said. "Thank you."  
  
"Are you sure?" He asked.   
  
Christina smirked. "No...Actually I was thinking. Should I wear my tennis shoes with this? Or my boots?" She asked. "You know...I like his dress that Sam made for me, but then again. I just don't know what to wear with..."  
  
"I believe you are fine." Boromir said. "If you need anything else...Other than your clothing problems. Come and get me."  
  
"Okay." Christina said. Haha! Her plan worked! And so she continued to get ready and complete her 'kick-butt babe' look going on. Finally when she was done, everyone in the company was read to kill her for taking so long to get ready.  
  
Aragorn was walking behind everyone as usual with Boromir. He was venting about Christina as always. "She takes forever to get up and get ready to move. She talks about stupid stuff. She is going to be killed by the first orc we see. And she ruined my arrows!"  
  
Christina was rolling her eyes at him. Man! He liked to complain. Almost as much as she did. Well, not really. Complaining was on her favorite things list.   
  
Christina followed Gandalf and everyone else in the company for hours. Once again, they did not stop for lunch. So she just went along with it. She went on following their path and talking to herself since no one would listen to her. Finally at nightfall they stopped by some entrance near a lake. She didn't pay much attention to what was going on really. So she sat down to redo her makeup once more.   
  
"Christina!!!!" Pippin yelled as he ran full speed at her and tackled her onto her back.   
  
"What?" Christina asked.   
  
"Gandalf is thinking. We are going to be here a little while. So can you show me a flip thingy like you promised?" Pippin asked.   
  
Christina rolled her eyes. "Fine." She said. "Come on."   
  
Christina stood up and took Pippin's hand. They went to an area where there was room to do something like cartwheels.   
  
Christina began to stretch out her torso as Pippin just looked at her, and then began to copy what she was doing.   
  
"Are you right or left handed?" Christina asked him a few minutes later.   
  
"I don't know." Pippin told her.   
  
"What hand do you write with?" Christina asked.   
  
"I don't." He replied.   
  
"You don't what?" She asked.   
  
"Write." He said.   
  
Christina gave him a weird look. "What hand do you eat with?"  
  
"Both." He said.   
  
"ARGH!" Christina yelled.   
  
"Argh to you too!" He yelled back.   
  
Christina rubbed her forehead. "Alright...You are right handed. Okay?" She told him. "If anyone ever asks you again...You are right handed!"  
  
"Okay." Pippin said. "Now show me how to do a cartwheel!"   
  
Christina frowned. This sure was going to be fun.   
  
************************************  
  
Pippin learns how to do a cartwheel...How cute is that? What happens in Moria? Will Christina's kick butt look and big fighting stick come in handy. Or do orcs kill her like Aragorn predicted? Does Aragorn get over the fact that she ruined his arrows? Does this turn into a Mary Sue story and Christina falls in love with Legolas and get married? (Just kidding! It will be a cold day in hell before this story becomes a MarySue story.) Anyway. Next story in the making. I'll post it as soon as it is done! Lata! 


End file.
